The Moral Code of Teen Sexuality

Disclaimer: I am not even close to having any teen daughters that I need to talk to about sex and in fact the idea of having to do so is quite jarring. I want to be a cool mom, I want my kids to trust me and talk to me about everything and be their friend but I can imagine that it ain’t easy to tell your 16 year old who was just a tiny babe what seems like 3 months ago that you are proud of her for having sex for the first time on her terms. And like, what really is the appropriate age to have sex for the first time? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But I’ve got about 10 years before I have to think about that, so I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. What really struck me about this segment from my favorite morning talk show ~ The Brian Lehrer Show ~ is how much I related to it as an exploration of the struggles of my own teenage past. Hearing Peggy Orenstein so vehemently denounce abstinence teaching as a method of birth control just made my heart flutter! She generously, clearly and bluntly puts into words how important communication about sex truly is for young women, and makes me feel like progress is happening in our world. Because if teen girls to have the ability to own and explore their sexualities, then we are equipping them with the ability to say “No” until they are ready to say “Yes,” and truly be stewards of their own bodies. And when that generation of women (and men) grow up to be of child bearing age, they will be that many miles closer to gender equality, maybe even ~ dare I say~ at the finish line? If we correct the way we talk to girls about sex from a young age, can we correct the gender gap entirely?

Also, this book sounds awesome if you are a Mom of a young girl.

How to have a One Night Stand

One of the most pivotal times in my life as a young adult was the sexual awakening years between 20 and, well, now. I’m still learning about my sexuality all the time. I was a relatively late bloomer in the sack, due to 18 years of brainwashing by my ultra conservative Southern Baptist upbringing which included a ceremony where I went up in front of the entire church and my parents gave me a ring as I promised not to have sex until I married. Guys, I’m not totally sure if I even knew my vagina hole was different from my pee hole at that point, I was just doing what I thought was right and cool and honestly– who knows, I was a CHILD and children have non sequitur thought processes that make them super easy to brainwash. More on that, probably, later. Anyway, I went to college and about a year and a half in I started having sex.  Continue reading